Murphy’s laws

Ma gandesc de ceva timp la toate lucrurile ce nu ies bine. Chiar mare parte nu ies bine. Dar atunci cand lucrurile ies bine nu tin minte sau uit mult prea repede, ca si cum nu as putea sa ma bucur prea mult de lucrurile bune.
Legile lui Murphy sunt emblema acestor situatii.

Sa luam cazul meu: imi pierd toate actele (postul asta) si nu le pot reface in Franta (pentru ca pentru a reface cardul de identitate iti trebuie pasaport ori nu mai am unul din decembrie-expirat si dat inapoi ministerului) si sunt obligata sa merg in Romania.
Partea proasta: Am dat 100 de euro sau ceva de genul pe bilet. Nu o suma oribila. Lipsesc de la primele ore ale noului semestru. Nu sufar prea rau nici de asta. Nu muncesc in zilele alea si pierd in total cam 86,66666667 de euro (cam atat am estimat ca ma costa 4 zile de munca).
Partea buna: Vin in Bucuresti ceea ce pentru mine este raiul…nu stiu de ce, sincer. O sa ma plimb si o sa ma duc la cinema pe Magheru. Apuc sa-mi vad prietenii (yeeeeeeei!). Asta e o poveste mai lunga pentru ca de fapt cele mai bune prietene ale mele sunt ori la Oxford, ori la Strasbourg, ori la Bordeaux, dar au mai ramas si in Ro cativa. Si mai apuc sa vad si pe cineva important dar asta e o alta discutie cu totul. Apuc sa mananc mancare gatita de bunica mea…si sa-i vad pe ei. Oricum apuc sa fac o gramada de lucruri foarte misto.

Acum in momentul in care mi-a fost furat portofelul m-am gandit la toate aceste legi. Apoi m-am gandit la natura mea. Apoi mi-am dat seama ca sunt obligata sa ma duc in Ro. In sfarsit trebuie sa recunosc ca inca mai sunt sceptica si ca nu se stie ce se poate intampla in doua saptamani.

• If anything can go wrong, it will

Corollary: At the most inopportune time

Extension: it will be all your fault, and everyone will know it.

In cateva cazuri stranii de genul am spus cuiva ceva ce nu trebuia sa ii spun si trebuia sa ramana secret si el afland a facut scandal si a iesit naspa.

• If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong
Extreme version:
If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will be the FIRST to go wrong

De exemplu: Ma intorc acasa si fiind mahmura sparg un geam (unul din cele 4 ale geamului principal). Este 12 noaptea si e frig in casa trebuie sa bag in priza caloriferul. Sunt mahmura. Mi-e foame. Am curs maine la ora 11 etc. Nu puteam sa sparg geamul vara, sau macar atunci cand aveam caloriferul in priza de ceva timp, nu noaptea, nu cand eram mahmura (ca sa ma chinui sa-l lipesc cu banda adeziva) cand urma sa mananc si atunci cand evident aveam curs a doua zi.

• If anything just cannot go wrong, it will anyway
• If you perceive that there are four possible ways in which something can go wrong, and circumvent these, then a fifth way, unprepared for, will promptly develop
Corollary: It will be impossible to fix the fifth fault, without breaking the fix on one or more of the others

• Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse

Nu mi se pare ca atunci cand te chinui prea tare iese mai bine. E ceva de genul karma iti spune “Don’t overdo this!”

• If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something

Exact principiul la marea majoritate a tipilor cu care ajung sa ies. Par ok initial si devin psihopati, antisociali sau nu mai stiu ce. Then again I am a very bad judge of character.

• Nature always sides with the hidden flaw
Corollary: The hidden flaw never stays hidden for long.

• Mother nature is a bitch
Addendum: and not an obedient one at that

Acum nu luam de la cap Katrina si gerul din toata Europa din iarna asta sau inca dezastrul din Haïti, care s-a repetat azi.

Murphy’s Law of Thermodynamics
• Things get worse under pressure.

De-asta mi-e frica de oalele sub presiune. Ah, si zgomotul.

• The Murphy Philosophy
Smile . . . tomorrow will be worse.

Ok, principiul Romaniei aproape.
Quantization Revision of Murphy’s Laws

Everything goes wrong all at once.
• Murphy’s Constant
Matter will be damaged in direct proportion to its value.
• Murphy’s Law of Research
Enough research will tend to support whatever theory.
• Research supports a specific theory depending on the amount of funds dedicated to it.

• It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.

Evident. Asa mi-am distrus eu PS1 sau 2. Am pus mana pe lentila. Langa era un sticker cu nu pune mana pe lentila. 😀

• Rule of Accuracy: When working toward the solution of a problem, it always helps if you know the answer.
Corollary: Provided, of course, that you know there is a problem.

Nu gasesc adesea rezolvari la probleme adevarate.

• Nothing is as easy as it looks.
• Everything takes longer than you think.
• Everything takes longer than it takes.

• If anything simply cannot go wrong, it will anyway.
• Whenever you set out to do something, something else must be done first.

Asta este doar pura procrastinare zic eu.

• Every solution breeds new problems.

Laws of selective gravitation.
• You cannot successfully determine beforehand which side of the bread to butter.
• The chance of the buttered side of the bread falling face down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.
• A falling object will always land where it can do the most damage.
• A shatterproof object will always fall on the only surface hard enough to crack or break it.
• A paint drip will always find the hole in the newspaper and land on the carpet underneath (and will not be discovered until it has dried).
• If a dish is dropped while removing it from the cupboard, it will hit the sink, breaking the dish and chipping or denting the sink in the process.
• If you pick up a chunk of broken concrete and try to pitch it into an adjacent lot, it will hit a tree limb and come down right on the driver’s side of your car windshield.

Asta este valabil pentru toate datile cand am luat o grebla in mecla pentru ca o lasasem invers pe jos.

Anything you wish to set an exemple for?
Intre timp cred ca asta ne va ajuta pe toti.

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